I Just Don't Know What I Want. I am Pathetic!!

I just don't know what I really want now. I am not ready, either. For what? I want to see a friend again. I don't care about whether he's single or not. I just want to be friend with him.

A friend in my student house who I always felt annoyed in the common kitchen when he always calls me. We had a short conversation on FB. I tole him about my French friend. Since he asked me about her and he had a feeling to her. I gave my suggestion that my friend is busy in week, and he can wait until next party that he can meet the French girl again.

But I can never meet my Dutch friend again. Even I live in the Netherlands. I don't have any reason to meet my friend. Because we not very familiar to each other. It will be awkward.

My annoyed friend(=='') told me that I just don't know what I want. I keep thinking about my Dutch friend, but I don't say hello to him. The longer I don't do anything, I more I get hurt. I don't like the idea that I hurt myself. But it's true and I am so pathetic!

Like what Otikal said, I just don't know what I want. I kept wasting my time thinking about him and don't want to do anything. Maybe I will do something, but not now.